I grew up in a Roman Catholic church in Italy and came to the UK 5 years ago. I started university, although work became my life and university became a way to pass the time. My work colleagues, with whom I spent all of my time, became my main group of friends and all of them were atheists. I was totally unaware of the spiritual world at this point and found myself caught up in alcohol and marijuana.
On my birthday, I invited anyone I had ever met while I’d been living in Canterbury to my party. I got very drunk and was taken advantage of. In time, the memory of the experience started to fade but it still had a grip on me.
I changed jobs and entered into a cycle of broken relationships. I fell in love with my dance teacher which created feelings of emptiness and wrongdoing. One day my heart was unlocked from the numbness. I came to acknowledge that I was not happy and a gentle thought came into my mind: “I must let him go”. This idea of ending my relationship with my dance teacher was, without a doubt, from God as it was persistently present through Sunday services and Christian fellowship. I knew that by making that choice I would be pursuing God; and this would not be for my own benefit, as I truly loved this guy and was dependant on his approval.
I finally made that decision and chose God’s way and instantly He came into my life. The memory of those past events ceased to play on my mind and Jesus suddenly made me aware of His presence in the choices that I make. It was subtle and gentle, but so clear. He also convicted me of healing in different areas of my life and I know that I am now completely healed from the mental, physical and spiritual pain of my past.
I found that God is ever present, He loves us and never wants us to get hurt. I was amazed by the discovery that the world is dominated by evil but that God is good and the only way out. He has been disciplining me and teaching me ever since and I believe that Jesus disciplines those who are His children but not to control us. He taught me that the commandments that he has laid out, are there to follow because He loves us and He knows what is best for us. Recently, I have also come to realize that Jesus understands all suffering so not only does He forgive, heal and love us but He also shares in our pain.
Sharing our past with people never satisfies. The world teaches us to fight our own battles but God teaches us to give it all to Him. Once I discovered that, I found peace in knowing that God can take away my pain.
Two years after developing this deep relationship with our Father, and a few months ago, I was baptized, something I had been thinking about for some time. When I watched Christian preaching videos on Youtube or opened the Bible, the topic of baptism often popped up. I didn’t want to do it alone so I kept pushing the idea away, as my parents and my brother don’t live near me. Amazingly, my brother started to talk about baptism when we spoke on the phone and told me about a team called The Last Reformation who were visiting his area, with the mission to baptize anyone who felt called. I was shocked and got on the first bus to my brother’s place and was baptized.
God is merciful and has allowed me to die in Christ and rise in Christ with my brother right by my side. I was prayed over and went home with a massive smile on my face. I am now saved and ready for God to take over every area of my life. It’s amazing grace.